roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
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