I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
