and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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