So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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