it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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