Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?