BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store