yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.