so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.