In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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