i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I AM VODKA MAN
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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