I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
