moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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