i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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