how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
