put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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