Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
