sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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