With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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