dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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