The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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