and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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