Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
