Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
