also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
