have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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