I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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