he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
