You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize