Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
