I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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