The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
