I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
