Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
