Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
