My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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