I have demons in me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize