she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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