the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
NoShamevember. You game?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
