I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
