she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
