Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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