the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
