then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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