he puts the penis in happiness.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
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No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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