Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
