There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
