that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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