Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
