Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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