does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
