i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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