You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
