I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
