it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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