Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
