I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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