i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
