Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
