it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
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Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
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We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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